Wedding Planning Myths Debunked


Bride and bridesmaids wearing colourful silk dressing gowns sat on bed before wedding
© Photographed by John Knight

Time and time again I have heard certain phrases from engaged couples, and their families and friends, about planning a wedding, and thought I would debunk these ‘wedding planning myths’ before other people succumb to these ideas as well…


  1. You have to be engaged for at least a year’ Why? Why a year? If you need time to save up the money for a wedding, then obviously you will have a longer engagement, but if you have the means and want to get married quickly, then why not? There is no ‘right’ length of time to be engaged for.

  2. It’s your day’ Whilst yes, it is your day and you should have what you want, if other people are contributing financially, then at least listen to any suggestions they have; you might be surprised and want to include them.

  3. It won’t be a real wedding without X tradition’ There are a lot of traditions that you could include, but don’t feel obliged to have any or all of them; choose the ones that mean something to you or do something different and unique. Here are some alternatives to wedding traditions.

  4. We’re both going to cry as soon as we see each other’ You might. You might not. Both reactions are perfectly normal, and if you don’t cry, it doesn’t mean that the day isn’t special or mean as much to you or your new spouse. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to expect a big, emotional reaction when you walk down the aisle.

  5. Everything has to be perfect’ Weddings can be complicated, with a lot of different aspects to them, which means there is more scope for things to go wrong. If something did go wrong, or was not exactly as you wanted it to be, that is ok, and it does not mean that your day is ruined.

  6. You need to spend at least £X on your wedding’ Weddings can be incredibly expensive, but that doesn’t mean that you have to spend so much on them. Although it is likely to be the most expensive day of your life, you should only spend what you can afford and are comfortable spending on it. Budget spreadsheets are very useful tools for managing your wedding fund, and make sure that you are realistic from the start with what your budget will be.

  7. It’ll be so much cheaper to make all of the decorations myself’’ Doing a DIY wedding can seem like a cheaper option, but it can often work out the same price, if not more expensive, than hiring a professional. Depending on what you will make, you will need to invest in the equipment, materials and have some sort of creativity and skill to make the desired items. You will also need time; time to make the decorations (and remake them if there are any problems) and time on the morning of the wedding to set them all up. Lastly, you will need somewhere to keep them all before the wedding and then you have to decide what you want to do with them afterwards. It is worth at least talking to a professional and finding out what they can offer; they are, after all, professionals and know what they are doing. They will also set everything up for you and take it down afterwards, which will save you so much time, stress and hassle.

  8. My best friend is a photographer, so they can take the photos on the day’ You friend/family member may be an amazing photographer/cake maker/DJ/etc. but do you really want them working on your wedding when they could be enjoying themselves with you? It might save you money, but they won’t have as good a time as your other guests, and if they’re working, you won’t be able to spend time with them/get photos with them/dance with them.

  9. If it rains then everything will be ruined’ Everyone seems to dream of having their wedding on a beautiful, warm, dry day; I was guilty of this too. But if it rains it really is not the end of the world. Some of the best wedding photos I have seen have been taken against stormy skies, which can create the most visually stunning, atmospheric backdrops. Yes, if you’re planning on having the ceremony outside, rain is not ideal (!) but that’s why you have contingency plans in place with your wedding planner or venue coordinator. The most important thing to remember is that this is the day you get to marry your soul mate; your best friend. A bit of rain can’t ruin that.

  10. Planning my wedding is going to be amazing’ Yes, planning a wedding can be a lot of fun, but it is not necessarily the happiest time of your life. It can be very stressful, and that is completely understandable; you are trying to plan the biggest day of your life and it is not always an easy thing to do (if it were, there would be no need for wedding planners!). If anyone says they did not get even a little stressed whilst planning their wedding, they’re not telling the truth!

What other ‘wedding planning myths’ have you heard?

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